The Former Love

Even though reality now pulls me from my pain
Another voice inside of me won't let it wash away
And as I watch, and as I learn, and as I hear your voice
The voice that I thought gone for good makes yet another rise
And finally, when it is hushed and quiet alone remains
I fall asleep, and in my mind, I'm brought to fear again.

These fears are not the ones you know
And none our fears alike
These fears are not for game or show
They're just a small reprise
To times when love was different yet
Somehow seemed just the same
To times when you did not exist
To days remembered in shame.

These fears, though seldom brought to light
Bring joy throughout my dreams
But when I wake, and find my truths,
I find I'm far from sane
For I am grasping the smallest straw
And hoping for the lot
And you are leading me away
Yet, somehow, I am caught.

You may have held my hand for months
But these hands were once his slaves
And though right now you hold my heart
This boy still holds the reins
He could unlock the part of me
I've bottled up for years
But sadly, through my own foulplay
He'd first witness my tears.

This, my friends
Is my honesty of the former love.