Once upon a starlit day
The younger me loved easily
And didn't search in each caress
For signs of approaching distress.
I wish I was still that young girl
I wish I saw love in the world
As easily as I did then
And didn't fear, and didn't dread
An end to any happiness
And didn't try to leave love's nest
And didn't wait for friends to stray
And trusted that with each new day
My love would learn to grow, and heal
And I'd forget all that I feared
And I'd let go of past regrets
I'd think of new, and not past friends
I'd let you hold me, through the pains
And let new comforts wash pains away.

We played inside the most beautiful cardboard homes our parents could have cut windows for Which raised us better than any disappointed and dysfunctional pair bound in wedlock The lessons We taught ourselves stayed with us for longer than any lessons thereafter And in the end We always fought for what was ours and our sense of security inside our cardboard homes

We are led by selfish desire Even in moments of "pure" benevolence We fend for ourselves Even in "love" We are led by the desire to be loved This is the hopeless affliction of humanity I am no angel.

I began as a creation of insanity Brought to life by this troubled youth Placed on a shadow-engulfed pedestal And allowed to flourish and grow.

Remember: It's never as good as you want it And always better at home Comfort is a safety net But you need no room to roam.

If i knew how to kiss away this new sadness in you Which drives us to hold closer Yet you push me away I'd drive away the demons which have ailed you through the night If only you could tell me how I'd go about the fight.

Just go ahead and prove me right And say you'll leave - for real And I'll pretend I didn't know Yes I'll pretend I feel.

Each and every one of them Could speak such lovely things But phrases cant raise families And words won't leave me be You are now a dream to me With every word you speak But I'll stay put in fantasy And know one day you'll leave

Shame

Lies could chase my breath away

Fear holds me in the deep

Smiles keep me satisfied

Words blunt the pains I keep

Tethered to the falling bricks

Headed down yet jumping in

You could keep me safe again

Yet I'll rebound

And shame will win.

Not even close to halfway done or sensible.

When I was watching Rugrats

You were dreaming loaded guns

And meeting each new girl in town

And playing, stiff for fun